Ok seriously what the hell is wrong with me?!

I get home from my kickboxing class, and I'm thinking, 'Hey! I'm bloody starving!' so decide I'm going to make myself a burger on the BBQ! I throw on two Calgary Stampede burgers cause I have this great idea that I'm making a double cheese double meat burger and it's going to be fantastic!! So I cook em up, and on the last flip before the BBQ sauce, one of them attemps an escape to freedom and jumps off the grill hits the deck, ROLLS across the deck off the balcony an into the gutter of the lady below me. All I could say as watached it fly into the gutter was, "You have to be fucking kidding me."

So to top it off, after eating my single pattie single cheese burger, I make some popcorn to forget my sorrows over the long lost pattie. You see I have this great popcorn maker, you twist the handle and it stirs the kernels so they don't burn. Anyhow, it all pops fine and dandy. and I'm all happy. I go to dump it in the bowl, and the bottom drops off the popcorn contraption and it spills into the sink over the counter and onto the floor, leaving me with a lot less popcorn that I was anticipating and a pain in the ass pickup session to do.

I think I'm going to sit in a little bubble for the rest of the week so as not to injure myself or anyone who comes in contact with me.

I'm an idiot...

Ok, so a couple of days ago, I decide "Hey! I'm gonna paint my dresser black!" So after having some grub and a pint with Kev Gamble, I head out to Home Depot and pick me up a can of black paint. I say to the guy at the counter, "I need black!" so he says to me, "How black?" and I say back to him, "As black is it comes!" so he mixes me up this crazy deep black color. I mean when he opened that can to show me, it was actually sucking the color from the world around us. Anyhow, so I grab my can and head home to paint the shit out of my dresser. I placed the plastic and dropcloth around in my room so as not the muck up the carpet with my brush or roller and I start painting away. I'm so happy with the black as I'm painting commending myself on such a great job, I step back to take a good look at my masterpiece, my butt bumps into something, and I hear a loud THUMP! behind me. I think to myself, what did I have resting behind me that could have been so heavy, there was nothing there before. Then it hit me, the paint can of course! Turning around I see the can of abyssal black pouring onto the floor. Phew thank god for plastic! But then I look closer and it managed to find its way to the exact spot where there was no plastic to be found.

So now boys and girls I have a Blackhole in my carpet. If you want to travel to another galaxy the floor of my bedroom is the place to do it!

I blame booze...

Stuff 4 Dudes!

...sometimes there are good ideas...


Check it!

Guitar Hero!

Holy crap! So, there's this game Guitar Hero that you might have heard of. Well this dude somewhere has hacked his Guitar into a synthesizer that you can make tracks with. Man I love this kinda creativity.

Click Here

Home Renno!

Well, it's not huge home renno, but I'm re-doing my bedroom, ripping off crappy crown molding, patching the walls, new paint, baseboards, new dresser and night-stands but I'm also looking at hanging a picture on my wall as well. I took this pic the other day and was pretty happy with it. I've done a bit of color manipulation to give it more of an eerie and interesting look, what do you think, blow it up to be like 2 feet by 3 feet sorta thing with a nice boarder? The thing I like about it is there's so much detail, and when it's viewed larger you can really see it.

Bonnie!

Just thought I'd show everyone the cutest girl in the world, just in case you've never seen the cutest girl in the world before...

BBQ!!

I had a small group of friends over the other day for a BBQ and we couldn't have picked a better day for it! The only time the sun came out all weekend and I popped open the lid of my BBQ and flopped on some of the best steaks I've had in my life! If you've never gone to Granville Island Market and picked up meat before. Go down there and get the Marinated Jerk Top Sirloin. It's a bit pricy, but you'll have a taste explosion. Once it hits your lips its so good!! Anyhow, hope youre easter weekend was fantastic, I'm back to work tomorrow...

MMmmm Smokey Dog....

Easter is Just around the Corner...

Having easter on the brain and hearing a quote from a friend of mine: "Do you know who the ultimate zombie is? Jesus." It got me thinking, if Bruce Campbell and Jesus were to fight? Who would win?!

Now Jesus, he's a pretty tough mo-fo, plus he's got a lot of followers so he might be able to lay the smack down on Bruce. But then again Bruce has a shotgun, he's tough and has a lot of followers. So I think it'd be a tough match-up though I think in the end, even with all of Jesus' tricks and zombie stuff, nothing says the end of a fight like a shotgun does.

Sorry Jesus, but I think my vote goes to Bruce...

...your thoughts?

Gorillaz Music Videos

I love these guys,

Here is a link to the Gorillaz Music videos. They've always put out fantastic videos, these ones are from the album Demon Days.

I'd watch Feel Good Inc. first tho and follow it up with El Manana.

Click here

Funny Comics

Leaky Condo Entry #2

Ok, so some more news, the company that does our Strata managing quit the other day. We have two months to find a new management company! Wow, that timing was super convenient! Just before the shit hits the fan with our building they pull the plug and tell us "We're not helping you anymore." GREAT! Dear god, get me out of this stupid mess!

I've also gone to the bank to ask them to turn me down for a loan, which is good cause they did, but now I've got to send all the information to the Government in the hopes that they give me 70,000 interest free dollars to pay for this. But as it stands I have absolutely no equity in my home because it got re-assessed due to the fact that it's leaky, and now my place is worth LESS than when I first bought it, at least till it gets fixed.

I love the fact that no-one is claiming responsibility for any of this. The goverment is like, oops that sucks sorry guys here is some money but you have to pay it back. The realtors who sell you places like this should burn in hell, and should be held WAY more accountable than they are, especially to new homebuyers. And the contractors who built them in the first place have vanished into thin air, so there's me sitting here with huge pile of shit to deal with! I'm expected to know what the hell I'm doing when it's the first time I've ever bought anything? Give me a break!

Anyhow, that's my rant. Hope the government gives me some cash or I don't know what the hell I'm going to do...

By the way, if anyone involved in this scandal is reading this I have a message for you...FUCK YOU, I don't know how you sleep at night in your kingsized satin sheeted downtown penthouse leak free appartment, I hope you rot like the walls of my building...

Love the Jhop

I'm Unka Jasun!

I visited my nephew Tyson this weekend and he's grown so much since the last time I saw him! He's talking and walking and running and laughing. That boy has a bigger vocabulary than me and he's only 1 and a half. I've been trying to talk for almost 30 years! Anyhow I thought I'd post some pics I took of him while I was there, show off how cute the little guy is.